Developmental Stages and the Parenting Issue they Generate

Parents deal with all kinds of problems and issues over the course of raising a family. The parenting issue they might deal with will change over time as the child grows and develops. Sigmund Freud’s psychosexual developmental stages provide a good context for identifying the major issues parents encounter with each stage.

Oral stage

Babies from birth to about two are in the oral stage of development, where they are focused on their mouths. At birth, suckling is the only fully coordinated activity they can do, and they get both food and comfort from it. Their mouths are their most mature sense organ, and they explore the world by sticking everything in their mouths.

Issues at this stage include feeding issues—breast versus bottle, when to introduce solid foods, and others. Safety is another oral stage issue; parents have to secure cabinet doors and keep everything out of reach so baby doesn’t put harmful things in his mouth.

Anal Stage

Freud’s next stage is the anal stage, and the major issue parents’ deal with here is potty training.

Genital stage

The preschool years define the genital stage, when the child discovers he has body parts, and that other people have body parts. A parenting issue in the genital stage has to do with gender identity. Boys and girls begin to behave and interact differently. One distressing behavior that sometimes arises in the genital stage is “playing doctor.”

Parents quickly learn to discretely discourage inappropriate play and reinforce socially acceptable rules about keeping oneself dressed in public. Masturbation is another common parenting issue in the genital stage that parents learn to discourage in public.

Latency

A child in latency is a school-aged child, and this is the time of skill-building. Children develop intellectually, socially and emotionally. They learn how to develop friendships, they learn about the world and they learn to do things. They develop a sense of competence and self-esteem. Parents often deal with moral issues, like lying, stealing and cheating, during these years.

Adolescence

Adolescence is the time of final maturation and separation from the family. Parents deal with different issues during the different stages of childhood. By using a developmental framework, parents can look ahead, and prepare for the bumps in the road that may be coming up. They can anticipate the next type of parenting issue they will be dealing with and find out what resources are available.

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